what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
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