it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
high people should be assigned attendants
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
