belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
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