that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
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