I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
Randomize
