I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
Randomize
