This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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