the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
Randomize
