He is an equal opportunity slut.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
I'm like, not good at living.
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Randomize
