Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
Randomize