I need help removing her.
Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Randomize
