Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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