I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Randomize
