i already hear my dad disowning me
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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