trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
Randomize