You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
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