If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
