Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
