fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
