i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Randomize
