Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
Randomize