what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
