Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
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