afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
When are your genitals available?
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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