Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
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