she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Randomize