It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
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