i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
Randomize
