Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
