my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Randomize
