Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
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