we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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