Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
Randomize
