I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
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