eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
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