so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Randomize
