I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
Semen is not good for contacts.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
