I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
