I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
You have to summon your inner elephant
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
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