I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Randomize
