After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
Randomize
