What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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