Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
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