Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
my dad came in to wish me a happy birthday and found me passed out in my underwear with the lights on and a plate of meat on the bed. i bet he was proud to have contributed to my creation in that moment.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
I will be naked everywhere
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
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