I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
My apartment stinks of burning failure
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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