her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
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