She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
is that a dick in a sweater?
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Holy shit dude........stairs
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
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