Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
Randomize