Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize
