So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
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the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
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Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
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