Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
