so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Randomize
