Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
Life is so much better after having sex.
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Randomize
