you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
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