How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Randomize
