i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
Randomize
