Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
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