They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Randomize
