i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
