??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
Randomize
