why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
I'm like, not good at living.
Randomize
