Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize