please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
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