I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
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