NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
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