Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
We have started to decorate penises.
I just want nice things and good sex
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
