I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
Randomize
